1.23.2006

Tossing the lady on Berwick Street

Soho is a lively, seedy, fascinating little urban island in the center of London. Every street is awash in restaurants, pubs, clubs, coffee houses and striptease joints; on top of upturned orange crates undesirable looking characters ‘tossed the lady’. Tossing the lady is one of the many names for, the looser can’t win, street gamble officially known as the three-card trick. Whatever the name the game is the same and the result is the same, using just three cards a fool and his money are parted when the gambler realizes he is not quite as smart as he thinks! This particular street hustle was probably first played about a day after the first cards were invented. Another variation of this con is played with three walnut shells and a small pea. Last year on the streets of Stockholm I watched the exact same scenario played out with three matchboxes and the results were the same no money passed into the hands of the passer bye, and stayed there.
It always plays out the same way the sucker, punter, mark ormug watches as fellow spectators win handfuls of cash from the beady-eyed philanthropist tossing the three cards. Usually the card you have to keep track of is a queen and the two decoys are spot cards, this is why the game is often known as tossing the lady. Everyone seems to be winning so the mug
gives it a try, usually after noticing that the ‘lucky lady’ has got a giveaway distinguishing ‘crimp’ or mark to turn the gamble into an easy win. Yeh, right! The entire process is fast and furious and ends either when the police arrive on the scene or when the ‘grifter’ decides to pretend they are. It looks casual, fair, fun and easy while managing to be none of these things. It also looks as though you are gambling one on one with the card tosser, which is usually eight to ten people short of the truth. There is a fluid group of people all working together to help separate you from your cash.
When I used to take the fifteen-minute walk from Piccadilly Circus to ‘Ken Brooke’s Magic Place’ at 145, Wardour for my next magic lesson I enjoyed all the intoxicating sights, smells and sounds of the street. As I cut through the Berwick Street market, I would often stop to buy a soda and watch the three card tricksters ply their trade, I was never tempted to gamble because any money I did have was very definitely earmarked for some magic prop that would throw my act into overdrive. Fourty years later I am still looking for that prop! One day Ken had to go to the market to buy three lemons and three lemons to find their way under the cups in the ‘cups and balls’ routine he was teaching me. Seeing my fascination with the three card outfit, Ken took the time to really teach me the 'in’s and out’s' of the hustle. He bought us two cardboard cups of tea and said; “The first way to know what’s going on is not to be so close to it you can’t see anything.”
We walked to the back of the crowd and he pointed out the four men who were acting as lookouts for unwelcome additions to the scene. Then he introduced me to the rest of the ‘crew’, the phony punters who were winning at the game, the friendly passer bye who was ‘kind’ enough to point out the way to win,
the blockers and the rest of the team each awaiting their moment. I was shocked when I realized that all these people were setting their sights on one ‘gambler’ at a time. We stayed there quite a while and watched the Swiss watch precision of the set-up, you wouldn’t think it would work but it did, time after time. Ah, never underestimate greed and peoples high opinion of their abilities to beat the odds. As we walked back to Ken’s magic studio I asked him what magic I was going to learn that day. “I think you already learned it.” Said Ken. “The reason those chaps make money and most magicians don’t is because unlike most magicians those blokes are rehearsed, dedicated and no exactly what they need to do and say to get the job done.” I pretended to understand but didn’t until a little while later. Just before I started to; “Make a little brass” as Ken would have said.

1.10.2006

One more gig.

It was early in the morning as I battled my way to my seat in the 7.20am flight from Las Vegas to Miami. In the front of the plane was David Brenner who's long term one-man show had closed the night before. He looked tired,happy and unhappy all at the same time. I had a long running one-man show in Vegas as well and knew just how he felt. Sliding into the first class cabin just before the door was closed was comedy actor Tom Poston most famous for his roles in Bob Newhart's television shows. He looked like he had lost one last blast of his money airport gambling. I reached my seat just in time to have someone drop items from hand baggage from the overhead bin. Doing a double take, I realized that the guy doing the dropping was Kelly McDonald. Kelly is an old comedy friend and fellow alumni from The L.A. Cabaret. Four comics on one flight is unusual even by Vegas standards. Rather like a full house and even fuller than I thought. Kelly and I had been introduced by the Dean of comedy, Big Daddy himself, Jeff Wayne. “Hey, Kelly” I said ignoring the shower of cd's on my head. “Heading for a ship?”
I remembered that Kelly had been looking out for an old mutual comedy aquaintance named Joey Villa. Joey had recently been very sick and the last time I had seen Kelly he had been treating him with a kindness and consideration that unusual in this business. Both of us had known Joey Villa for over twenty years while working for Royal Caribbean Cruise Line as entertainers. Now, if you never knew Joey then there isn’t much I can tell you about him in a few paragraphs that can even give a hint of what a piece of work was. He was a one of a kind. When comics get together they will trade Joey Villa stories for hours on end. One thing that I did know was that Joey had been nice to me when he didn't have to be, and obviously to Kelly as well.
“How is Joey doing?” I asked Kelly. “Is he still with us?”
“Oh, he’s with us,” said Kelly and he pointed at a blue bag in the overhead bin. “I am taking his ashes to scatter into the Sea.”
I paused a little and thought about it a while. For decades Joey had opened his show singing ‘I’m going to live till I die’ before keeling over and falling flat on the stage. Now he had lived and died and was waiting in the overhead compartment for his bows. “You’re a really good guy Kelly” I said and meant it. I was very pleased to be there on Joey’s last gig.
RIP funny man.

1.02.2006

It’s one o’clock and the Dr. is in.

It was about eleven pm and Susan and I were about to go to sleep. We had watched Carson do his monologue and weren’t very interested in his guests. I did a fast run through the remote just to see if there was anything worth staying awake for and caught a promo for ‘At one with Keith Berwick’. Berwick was the host of an eclectic late night show that I had seen on a few occasions. That night his guest was Dr. Timothy Leary, a name and face I vaguely recognized but couldn’t quite place."He’s a mad professor/crazy scientist kind of guy, just your cup of tea,” said Susan.
How right she was. Within ten minutes I realized that I was hearing things I had never heard before. I was amazed, delighted and fascinated in equal parts. Having just arrived from England I really didn’t know who, what or why this man was and had no previous baggage to attach to Dr T or what he was saying. Half way through the interview Susan woke up from her deep sleep sat bolt upright and said; “You’d better listen he’s talking to you.” Then went back to sleep.
Towards the end of the program Dr Leary looked straight into the camera and said; “If what I am saying is of interest to you then you had better check it out, either I am totally crazy or almost everything you have been told is untrue.”
Well, since he looked like one of the most radiantly sane and intelligent men I had ever listened to, I did just that. 28 years later having studied his work I am still 100% convinced that this was one of the most brilliant men to walk this planet. If you have never studied his ideas on evolution then I sincerely recommend you do the same. Don’t settle for my opinion though (or anyone else) and don’t think you know what he was all about based on a rough idea of what he said/stood for. Check it out for yourself.