I recently had a nasty fall onstage or to be more accurate offstage as I was going down the steps into the audience. I fell flat on my face and onto the floor just a few feet in front of the crowd. It got a lot of laughs but I don’t plan to do it every show.
The next two weeks were a blur of pain. Actually I’m not sure if the blur was the pain or the pain medication my doctor gave me. However pain and blur were a major factor until all the anti-inflammatory medication and cortisone shots kicked in. It was a truly miserable time.
Weighing heavily on my mind was the fact that I needed to end my bed rest and ice pack regime with a really long air trip. During the course of this journey I needed to negotiate airports in Las Vegas, New York, Athens and Santorini. Even when you are feeling at the top of your game these are daunting airports.
Very reluctantly I agreed to utilize wheel chair service at the various airports. The idea of being wheeled around was very foreign to my nature, in fact it made me age about two decades just contemplating it. Little did I know that this was going to be the silver lining in the entire situation?
I arrived at Las Vegas airport and the machine slipped into place. I settled down in the wheel chair with my hand baggage on my lap and was whisked through the security line and arrived at my gate within 10 minutes of checking in. Those of you who have ever negotiated the early morning lines at Vegas security will be deeply impressed at this point.
Upon arriving in JFK airport in New York there was a chair waiting and I was quickly dispatched to my correct gate. By now I was starting to experience the camaraderie of the ‘wheel chair brigade’ and was striking up conversations with my fellow chair bound travelers.
While I was at least twenty years younger than anyone else being wheeled we had much in common and were happily exchanging tips and advice on meds and walking canes. Although I didn’t realize it at the time I suspect we were all heavily medicated which was the cause of this unique island of airport bonhomie.
Upon arriving in Athens I was whisked through immigration in a flash.
While waiting for my attendant to pick up my luggage from the carousal I chatted with a charming elderly lady who had so lost her grip on convention that she was eating a burger with a spoon. She gave me a couple of pain pills that she had found invaluable. Next we sailed through customs to the front of the line at my connecting airline. Within minutes we were off to my next gate where they used a small car with an attached crane to get me onto the crane.
I am executive platinum on nearly every airline but I have never had service like this. Frankly I have now found myself looking at my ankle braces and deciding to slip them in the outer pocket of my suitcase! The only thing that could of made this journey smoother or better would have been doing it without the pain and that was when the elderly ladies pain pills started to kick in………….
